The simplistic view of orgasm-centric sexual satisfaction is challenged by the experience of “bad” orgasms.

Orgasm is the subject of a number of misconceptions. First, the one that makes orgasm rhyme with successful intercourse. This view of sexuality, which is very prevalent among men, neglects the fact that sexual intercourse can be completely satisfying without it, and even that it is sometimes more pleasant to let yourself be carried away by pleasant sensations or shared pleasure. of the moment than to focus on this objective.

Then the fact that some men see in it the expression of their capacity as lover "to make their partner come." "Many women who have sex with a man feel under pressure to have an orgasm to protect their partner's ego", explain three psychologists from the University of Michigan and Queen's University in Kingston (Canada ), in the September Archives of Sexual Behavior .

Negative context

With her colleagues, Miriam Francisco and Sari van Anders, Sara Chadwick has indeed decided to study “bad” orgasms, that is, those which occur in a negative context. The authors cite those that can occur during forced intercourse and plead for it to be talked about in order to avoid spreading the myth that a woman who enjoys is necessarily consenting. Not to mention the guilt that victims can then feel. But they also look at bad orgasms, experienced as such, during consensual intercourse.

They recruited 726 volunteers via the Internet, on average 29 years old, who had already had "bad" orgasms, then analyzed the responses of 289 participants who had detailed their experience. This allowed them to identify two main categories of bad orgasms.

Two types of bad orgasms

On the one hand, those which occur during a consensual report for reasons not strictly sexual, whether they are positive (desire for intimacy or to show love for the other, for example) or negative (to avoid to argue about it).

On the other hand, the bad orgasms that occur after the (or there) partner insists on it. "Obviously having an orgasm when you're in a rush can be positive for a lot of people because it relieves that pressure, but it can also make the whole experience stressful, frustrating, or otherwise negative, potentially constituting an experience." bad orgasm, ”write Sara Chadwick and her sisters.

In any case, the responses of both women and men confirm that it is simplistic and reductive to consider orgasm as the marker of sexual satisfaction. “Our study highlights that negative feelings can decrease the quality of an orgasm during consensual intercourse by reducing or negating the physical and / or psychological pleasure associated with orgasm,” the authors conclude.